Susan Murphy Milano and the state of American Health Care

My Letter to Michelle Obama

Dear Mrs. Obama:

I am writing to you today because I respect you very much, and I know how important both the issues of Domestic Violence and the right of everyone to have Affordable Health Care are to you.

I want to introduce you to an amazing woman and advocate Susan Murphy- Milano. Susan is currently dying of Cancer due to the lack of Health Insurance. Everywhere she applied for help turned her down and she was informed that she did not qualify for their services. I know you agree that there is something terribly wrong when a country as great as ours can let this happen to anyone, yet alone someone who has devoted her entire life to saving the  lives of others and without once thinking about what it could mean to her own.

Susan grew up in Chicago, the daughter of a 30-year veteran Chicago Police Detective and Violent Crimes Investigator Phillip Murphy. Susan’s father murdered her mother in 1989 and then turned the gun on himself committing suicide.  His intent was to kill his daughter as well. On the way to the house to try to save her mother something made her take an unexpected turn on the way. This decision is the only reason Susan is alive today. Had she taken her normal route Susan would not be with us now! Susan lived a life of trying to keep her mother alive her entire life and after her mother was murdered she devoted her entire life to saving others.

This most amazing woman is now on her last days after putting up a good fight. I am writing you today because I know you care. I know you care about the women and children in this country, the state of our health care, and every person’s God given human right. It is not just women and children that Susan has saved; there is no gender bias when it comes to abuses towards another.

Susan is the leading expert on Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence, and at the time when she discovered she had Cancer she was already in stage 4. This all happened just as her lifelong dreams were coming true. Susan is the women who mentored Rev. Neil Schori , Stacy Peterson’s Pastor and taught him everything he knows about Intimate Partner violence. Together they created The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit    which is a legal document that can be used in court as legal testimony even if the victim is murdered or missing.

This tragic news about Susan came just as her lifelong work was getting known. Susan was getting invitations from law enforcement agencies all over the country to come and train Law Enforcement and first responders what to look for when they answer a call, or respond to a crime scene.  She was preparing to start working at a University where she was given Carte Blanche and offered full use of the Universities resources to help her with her work. She did not apply to work at this University they came to her asking her to please come and head this project. Susan was offered her own Television Show which was scheduled to air this winter.  Again she was approached by the producers she did not seek them they sought Susan. These are just a few of the triumphs that have a major impact in the field of Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence!  Susan was now in high demand all over the country. But her work was suddenly halted in its prime due to her health.

Susan had a good chance to recover had she had the treatment she needed. This is a disgrace and an embarrassment for this Country which I know you and the President both agree. I am so sorry that the President’s Health plan has been fought against and has not been put into place. This is something that may have saved not only the life of this amazing woman but could have saved countless other people both through Susan’s work and the health plan combined.

This is what Susan said when she made the announcement about her Cancer:

“My dreams and hard work are now becoming reality.
In early fall there will be a national announcement about the Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence Institute with two major universities.

A national conference and training hosted by the Naperville Christian Church is scheduled for the first week of October on the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit for law enforcement, prosecutors and first responders.

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit APP will be at the Apple Store on Monday July, 2, 2012.

Holding My Hand Through Hell will be released nationwide October 1, 2012.

Everything will still happen as scheduled”.

Susan Murphy Milano June 27 2012

Please check out these links and Google her name for more on Susan. I know you will love her as much as I do and as the countless women she has saved

Susan’s Cancer blog Conquering Cancer which she started to try to change the way society looks and Cancer treatment

Susan’s Main Blog  Susan Murphy Milano’s Journal to educate the public on Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence

Document the Abuse website for the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit 

Susan’s latest book “Holding My Hand Through Hell” is about her life and what it was like for her growing up in an abusive home.  She wrote this book for the purpose of helping others who are living the same hell that Susan grew up living in.  After reading this book people will know why Susan is the who she is.

See Susan’s other books here

Chicago Tribune article and interview with The Rev. Neil Schori.

Listen here to Rev. Schori interview after the trial of Drew Peterson

Susan Murphy Milano and her work in Chicago. Please watch this video and you will see the great work she has done in the past!

Thank you for taking the time to read this and listen to the interviews.

I would like to invite you to the Facebook prayer page for Susan. You will be in awe of the outpouring of prayers and thoughts of people whose lives were changed just by knowing her.

God Bless you and The President for all the work that has been done and is being done to make our lives better.


Amy J. Matthews

14 responses

  1. tenncathy

    I agree with this letter 100% . Susan Murphy Miliano has helped so many people in her life. She need’s to be brought into the media etc.Susan deserves to be recognized for her accomplishments and successes. She was there for me and I had shared my huband’s cancer and she never talked about her’s and She already new she ha cancer. She has always put other’s first no matter what the situation. I prays she get’s the recognition that she DESERVES!


    October 28, 2012 at 1:10 am

  2. Amy so well said. Susan has devoted her life to saving others from domestic violence. She has developed tools to help our LE and many others to put an end to this what use to be a silent epidemic. Susan is so passionate about her work and I am honored to have her in my life.

    October 28, 2012 at 5:57 am

  3. Shadow

    All that is written here is a testament to the power of what one person can do to truly change the world. We must honor her work.

    October 28, 2012 at 6:01 am

  4. tigresspen aka: Shirley Graham Crum

    One person can change the world’s outlook. If one tried to explain who Susan Murphy MIlano is in a short piece then they would fail. Her achievements in the area of intimate partner violence are phenomenally huge. The list of women she has saved either by personally taking them to safety or just by her books or listening to one of her radio shows is too long to list. Susan is a DV savior. No one has died on her watch. She deserves any and all favorable recognition she is given. Her selfless life goal in the area of domestic violence advocacy should be honored.

    October 28, 2012 at 8:27 am

  5. Reblogged this on MamaLiberty's Weblog.

    October 29, 2012 at 6:18 am

  6. Susan called and talked to me and give me the push I needed to get out of domestic violence I was in. She asked what she could do for me and because I didn’t really know how to ask for the help I needed I said just be supportive and encouraging to me and she said you got it! Tears streaming down my face! I am forever thankful for Susan coming into my life and leaving her mark!
    When I told her of his actions toward me she was afraid for my life! She was very stern about me getting out! I was rescued out literally! There was a ministry from another state the lady drove over 1000 miles to mentor, pray and encourage me to get my things packed in her RV and leave!
    I embrace each of you that Susan touched in some way! Let’s lift each other in prayer! Let’s continue the work of our beloved Susan! God Bless!

    October 30, 2012 at 7:11 am

  7. Kenny Jarels

    Susan, I have tried several times throughout the day to express how I feel about everything you did to help me. See most of the people know what a warrior you were when it came to domestic violence. But what they don’t know is how your world collided with a grieving family in Roanoke, Va. It seems like it was just yesterday when I contacted you about getting air time for Morgan Harrington. One radio show after another. The shows were wonderful. But it was what you did off the air that showed me what kind of person you truly were. A fighter?? Yeah, you were a fighter. Your compassion to total strangers will never be forgotten. I think Delilah will agree with me. One of the best interviews Susan Murphy Milano ever did was the one she did with Gil Harrington. Your phone calls to Gil gave her hope. You energized her. But more than anything else it brightened her days just to hear your voice on the other end of the phone call. Susan you were the whole package. A fighter?? Yep, you were that. But you were love!!

    October 31, 2012 at 7:29 pm

  8. Dear Michelle,

    It is my deepest hope that you will get a chance to read a bit about my good friend and colleague, Susan Murphy Milano. I spoke with Susan a couple of months ago and was appalled by what she had to say. First, she said that because of the system and the lack of help, she thought she would be dead in two weeks. Thanks to a very kind and generous doctor, she lived a bit longer.

    She told me she wanted so badly to live so she could join in the fight to make changes in our health care system. She would have been a great and vocal advocate. Sadly, the system so desperately failed her!!! Sadly, I and many others have lost a good friend.

    As the letter states, Susan was turned down by agencies that should have been there to help her. She was a strong advocate who didn’t think about herself. She survived on the little she made hosting shows and public speaking. She had no insurance.

    Susan gave her life for others and it is so hard to grasp that our system is this flawed. This is truly a disgrace!!

    What is so gut-wrenching is that Susan had a good chance to live. I know this because I personally spoke with the doctor who was keeping Susan alive. People scrambled to try to raise money – it wasn’t enough. I personally contacted a very wealthy man who, I hear, thinks nothing of throwing away hundreds of thousands of dollars each month on frivolous things. I asked if he would help – he was rude and turned me down. I was shocked at how heartless and cruel he was.

    Things like this I will never understand. What harm would it have done for him to think of someone other than himself? I explained that Susan’s doctor said it would cost about $320,000 over the course of two years. I wasn’t asking for the entire amount up front. I was hoping he would simply pay her doctor bills as they accrued. He could have easily afforded it, and he knows it.

    This is beyond sad and disgusting. Susan is gone now and there’s nothing any of us can do. Many truly tried because of their love and devotion to Susan.

    I want to take a moment to let you know that Susan’s good friend, Delilah Jones, is to be commended for the care she provided for Susan since she learned of her stage 4 cancer. Susan became too weak to fight for herself, so Delilah had to take over. She worked so hard to cut through bureaucratic red tape – she failed. I can’t imagine what she’s going through at this moment in time.

    I hope that it will be stories like this that will help change our health care system so that people like Susan won’t die needlessly.

    Thank you for your time,

    Isabelle Zehnder
    News Writer & Family Advocate

    October 31, 2012 at 10:05 pm

  9. renegade98

    Reblogged this on What have we become?.

    November 1, 2012 at 2:10 pm

  10. Susan Murphy-Milano should have her work recognized in DC. I never had the chance to personally meet Susan, always thought that day would come, but because I work in the world of the missing and many of our missing are the victims of domestic violence her work gave me insight into many cases and for that I will forever be grateful. To go forward and carry on her work the best I can do is for me to always, always stand my ground and be the voice for others when they cannot speak for themselves. Thank you Amy for writing this great letter but whether or not anything comes of it is no matter as it is up to all of us to carry on Susan’s work in whatever way we can.

    NamUs Volunteer Victim Advocate – Kansas

    November 1, 2012 at 2:12 pm

  11. Susan experienced the biggest fear most frontline warriors deal with; The lack of funds to save Susan’s life because of no insurance, is ultimately the cause of her death, leaving her to truly have to make her own pro-life/choice. This should have never happen in this country. My choice today is life, because of Susan, and her power behind the passion to make a difference. Because when you are married to a cop who wants you dead. . . Who do you call? Susan Murphy-Milano made a change, FoRe! ‘1’ soul at a time who chose life.

    Now, Mrs Obama, I humbly come to you to help us get the tools of Susan’s Legacy out to our Federal, State, and Local Officials, bringing about real change with regards to Law Enforcement Officer Involved Domestic Violence (LEOIDV) and Intimate Partner Abuse. We also need assistance when it comes to the restoration of those affected by abuse, especially at the hands of those sworn to protect and serve. We would like Susan’s Legacy to be known worldwide with you as our Spokesperson. Will you truly be our 1st Lady FoRe! Susan Murphy-Milano? It’s the change this Country truly needs.

    Maria Brame DiGiovanni

    November 3, 2012 at 8:08 am

  12. Brenda

    I agree 100% with this letter. As an abused woman it was Susan who not only gave me emotional support but direction.

    November 3, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    • Thank you Brenda for posting your comment for Susan.

      November 4, 2012 at 11:43 am

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